Being comfortable in your own Erotic Skin is imperative. Allowing yourself the freedom to choose sexually just how Sensual & Sexy you wish to be is a joy to behold!
I meet so many people that are so worried about what other people will think, that they miss out on moments in time that could improve their relationships. I’ve also met so many people that have been controlled and contained within someone else’s box of what sex should be that they have lost their Erotic way! …from when to have sex to what positions to have sex in – to what to enjoy sexually. Every aspect of their sexual being is REALLY controlled by someone else’s opinion. …and some don’t even realize it.
When I sit down and talk to women in particular about why they won’t try anal sex or a threesome or give head – I pretty much know the answer that they are about to give and how that answer developed in their mind. It is obvious in our conversation that they have been “told” by either a close friend or a family member that whatever they are about to embark in is “nasty”, painful, or simply just frowned upon. …because OF COURSE these folks have TRIED EVERYTHING! …yeah right…
Simply put, they have allowed someone else – who by the way has not even tried any of the above mentioned scenarios, but have a negative ‘opinion’ about them – to dictate how awful it would be to even “try” any of the acts of pleasure. It always amazes me how quickly these ladies take on the views of someone else without even seeing for themselves what they are missing.
I travel around dispelling rumors and innuendo with regards to sex in an attempt to allow people to step out of their sexual box that someone else has created for them. What amazes me is, so many people have the same “hang-ups” when it comes to sex and for the same reason…someone “told” them this was bad.
I was taught to: Open the book and read it for myself. …and my favorite: An opinion is like an asshole, everyone has one. …so how do we get out of the confinement of the sexual box that someone else built?
Well the first step is to know that you’re in that box. If you’re not fulfilled, if you feel that something is missing, if you want to try new erotic adventures – GO FOR IT! Do your own research. Find like-minded people. Step out and away from that box. Allow yourself to breathe in the aroma of sexuality. Close your eyes and visualize yourself being enlightened. Explore new positions and the various realms of the Lifestyle.
…this is not to say that you will like everything you try Erotically, but at least you will have formed your own opinion and taken that step of being comfortable in your own Erotic Skin.
SEX is that double edged sword that can cut the heart out of a relationship with a single swipe or give a relationship that added oomph! When we talk about SEX and relationships we have to add a lot of factors into the mix. Emotions, perception, wants and desires, kink and freakiness as well as frequency and ability. I also would throw in drive and ambition to satisfy your partner.
Looking at all of these factors, affords us the opportunity to really delve into the importance of SEX in a relationship. Remember, over 20% of committed relationships fail due to SEX – either not enough or too much. If SEX is important enough to end the most sacred of relationships – a marriage, shouldn’t we take a deep look at its effect on a relationship and recognize the significance that sex has on a relationship?
Many people will say that SEX isn’t the glue that holds their relationship together. Yet let their partner step out on them and have sex with another person and all bets are off! Now you may say that it’s the sneaking and the lying that cause a person who is cheated on to end the relationship and normally I would be inclined to agree with you, but I want to take this a step further… If all the person is doing is having SEX why does it destroy a marriage? Is it because they are only supposed to have SEX with their partner? After all this is the same person that does not believe that SEX is that important…so why does it matter that their partner decides to have sex with someone else? I mean…if the person is not getting what they want at home and there is a deep divide in sexual activity – why shouldn’t they be allowed to “step-out” on their partner to satisfy their sexual cravings with one that is willing to fulfill their needs? Why are we shocked and appalled when we know unequivocally that we are not having sex on a regular basis?
In other words, you can’t be upset if a partner has sex outside the relationship when you act and feel that SEX isn’t important to your relationship. People that cheat in their relationships have a reason – it may not be a good one to the person that is cheated on – but it is “logical” to the person that cheated.
I’m not saying by any stretch of the imagination that people that cheat should get a pass, but what I am saying is…as long as we keep considering SEX as an afterthought to our relationships or treat it as a chore instead of a way to enhance our bond with that person we cherish. …as long as we keep saying, “Sex isn’t important in my relationship. I can take it or leave it.” …as long as we deny ourselves the pleasures and the euphoric feeling that comes from having SEX… …as long as we belittle SEX in such a way that demoralizes its very existence, the percentages will continue to rise and we will continue to be dissatisfied within our own sexual relationships.
The battle rages inside of us. With all of the boundaries securely in place regarding sex – from family and friends to church and state – we have lost our passion and desire. Sex can become mechanical and mundane. Exploring a new horizon outside of the parameters set by outsiders can bring upon great shame. The internal struggle is real. Do we stay true to our “values” or do we unleash the sexual creatures that we are?
I say…UNLEASH! It’s okay to say that SEX IS IMPORTANT! It’s okay to want GREAT SEX! It’s okay to step up your SEX game! It’s okay to try something new to rekindle the passion that you and your partner deserve in your sex life! It’s okay to make SEX a PRIORITY!
SEX – there it is… That three letter word that can cause so much pain and pleasure at the same time. From bringing a relationship closer to tearing a relationship a part. From being a sensual and beautiful act to being an act of violence. From creating life to the agonizing decision to end life.
SEX – the word that everyone loves and hates to talk about. However you wish to spin it, SEX is here to stay. …with all of its ups and downs.
There are, crazy at it sounds in this day in age, still people out there that wish to downgrade sex and take away its importance. They would rather whisper behind closed doors about its importance and/or deny themselves the pleasures that sex can afford. They want us as a people to also downgrade the importance of sex and not talk about it or teach it.
SEX is VERY IMPORTANT to all of us! …there I said it. I’m not ashamed to say it or teach it. I’m not going to hide behind false statements, nor will I apologize for the bluntness of my words. For far too long we have been taught about all of the taboos of sex and when and where we should have sex. We’ve even been given the one and only “true” reason so have sex and that’s to continue the human race.
However, SEX has a multifaceted purpose and should be treated as such. SEX should be enjoyed, not made out to be a chore or something “dirty & disgusting”. Double standards should not be handed out because you derive pleasure from having SEX. …and whether we want to admit it or not, SEX can make or break a personal relationship. …from not enough sex to too much sex to having sex outside your committed relationship; SEX plays a vital part in our lives.
It is time for us to put an emphasis on SEX in our relationships. The closeness that comes from sharing intense pleasure. The ability to release stress. The contact between two people seeking to please one another (in most cases) is unparalleled. The ability to connect on a physical level.
SEX is important and instead of trying to pretend that sex does not matter in a relationship, we need to be honest with ourselves and realize that we are sexual beings. Sex plays a large part in our relationships and in our society. …whether we are open about our sexuality or we are trying to sweep it under the rug, SEX is important!